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Writer's pictureAlina Khan

A Lockdown Dilemma

I thought I'd tell you today. About my aching heart, a longing like no other that sweeps over my skin every night until my eyes drain themselves of every watery substance they can possibly withhold. About my sleepless nights, when I think about you for hours, before darkness finally takes me in. About my fears, of losing you, of not being able to find the missing pieces when I see you next, of not being able to stay put till I can't breathe. About my unfailing belief in us, and in an eternity that I dream of. Every. Single. Night. About my unsettling emotions, that make me tremble with the thought of you leaving. About my heartache, that reminds me how much I miss your breath against mine. About the quickness of my breath, whenever you fail to hear my silent screams. About the heaviness in my being, that's trying to stay alive till it unites with you. About my eyes, that are devoid of possessing any emotion possible. About my fingers, that tremble with the thought of not finding you near me the next morning. About my feet, that doesn't want to move to any place else if the path doesn't take me to you. About my lungs, that are keeping up with me only because I have a faint hope of seeing you soon. About my cheeks that have lost their colour; they don't know what to feel anymore. About the hollowness that sweeps over me whenever you talk of letting me go. About the numbness that doesn't let me sleep unless I've assured myself countless times that it will all be okay. About my worn-out self, my broken soul, my teary-eyed face, my twitching eyelids, my shaking thumb, my quivering lips.


But today, I'm afraid, is not the day.


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